8 promises to the electorate in the State Elections in Uttar Pradesh

the electorate never had it so good, screams a headline.

reservations for the minorities and MBCs. quotas; sub-quotas; supplementary sub quotas, ¬†even complementary sub-quotas…

free electricity, free uniforms and free books, free laptops and free tablets. even free cows!! :-)

but no free TVs and mixer grinders yet.

obviously, how long can you charge your free laptops or free cows with the free electricity?

the next set of major promises include:

  1. free toothpaste and free toothbrushes to the elderly.
  2. reservations to the public loos. apparently, one cuts the que.
  3. free elephant rides; never mind even if they are statues.
  4. free replacement of shoes upon producing documentary (video is better) evidence of its missile-like trajectory.
  5. free mp3 downloads of Amar Singh’s phone conversations with starlets.
  6. free ear-plugs (with 100% insulation guaranteed) for everyone succumbing to the lure of Arvind Kejriwal’s public rallies.
  7. satan bhagat will be commissioned to write revolution 2012: 4 states
  8. return tickets to the US on kingfisher airlines for all iit kanpur students passing out.
this list is being updated continuously after careful consideration of all sections of the society across uttar pradesh.